Last week in this space, we got a little playful, a bit wild even, in talking about succulents with animal-inspired names, from Crassula ‘Calico Kitten’ to zebra plant (Haworthia spp.).
At the risk of being called birdbrains or accused of monkeying around too much, we can’t help but presume it’s only a natural progression to move this topic of names to the realm of food. Especially during the time of year when our faces are ever so close to all matters of yummy dishes and treats.
Coming from Southern California, we’re going to kick off this feast with the trailing succulent whose origins are wrapped in mystery: Sedum ‘Burrito’. Wait, what? OK, fine, it’s “burrito” as in “little burro,” for the plump jelly-bean leaves, but we highly value versatile representation. The pangs of hunger are now coming on, but we’re going to do this food thing right, from the beginning (breakfast) to the end (second dessert), so pull out the Aeonium ‘Party Platter’ and let’s get started.
Breakfast
You didn’t think we we’re going to suggest pouring genuine Vermont maple syrup or tasty jam on paddle plant, did ya? “Paddle plant” being another oft-used common name for this kalanchoe.
String of bananas (Senecio radicans)
As Gwen Stefani once sang/hollered, partially: “This plant is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!”
Lunch
Little pickles (Othonna capensis) with:
Peanut cactus (Chamaelobivia ‘Rose Quartz’) and
Aeonium ‘Kiwi’
Afternoon Snacking
Sempervivum ‘Green Apple’ with Kalanchoe ‘Cinnamon’
Our appetite came back, so we’re firing up the cast iron and adding some sliced potatoes and S. ‘Green Apple’, sprinkled with some K. ‘Cinnamon’ and brown sugar.
Echeveria ‘Licorice’
Dinner
Pork and beans (Sedum rubrotinctum)
It’s just not the title of one of the better latter-era Weezer songs.
Vegetarian option:
Grilled nopal tacos (Opuntia ficus-indica)
Indian fig pads in a tortilla with sliced avocado, black beans, onions, cilantro, Echeveria ‘Lime n’ Chile’, and tomatillo-based salsa
Dessert
Aeonium ‘Chocolate’
Key lime pie (Adromischus cristatus)
Aeonium ‘Lime Truffles’
Crassula ‘Candy Cane’
Second Dessert
Sedum ‘Chocolate Ball’
Sedum ‘Lemon Ball’
Yes, please bring the dessert tray by, twice.
Beverages
Crassula ovata ‘Lemon & Lime’ (sparkling water)
Mangave ‘Macho Mocha’
Aeonium ‘Merlot’
Sorry, Miles, but if they are serving Aeonium ‘Merlot’, then that’s what we adults will be enjoying…but just one glass with dinner.
See what “tasty” succulents we have in our kitchen, er, online plant shop. To close, in all non-silliness: Succulents are for planting and admiring, not eating. Some could be harmful to animals or people.
